The Blog

I’ve spent the last week trying to figure out what I can and can’t eat. So far, I can eat chicken, and fish. I cannot eat grits, mashed potatos, eggs, soft cheese, green beans (duh!), spinach (and duh!).  I am still learning the concept of eating very very slowly and chewing everything at least 30 times.  If I choose not to chew everythnig to a mushy pulp, then I get this knotty feeling in my stomach, and the only relief is to puke it up. This, totally defeats any efforts of eating, because what nourishment am I supposed to get if I just puke it all up. I might as well just stay on the protein shakes, which I so detest. Gag.

I’ve lost 28 pounds in 26 days. That’s pretty impressive weight loss. My clothes fit better, but I still feel and look like a huge fat person. I’ve thought more about how I dress and primp myself in the mornings and figure that once I reach a normal size, a size that I can go into any store and clothe, that I’ll give myself a makeover and dress a little more femine-like.  Right now, I just wear the same old pants and the same old button down shirts everyday. It’s like a uniform. It’s something that so many really really overweight people deal with. You find something that fits and feels good, you buy 6 of them and rotate through the week. Heck, I wouldn’t mind it if people had to do that for work regardless of size. But there is something to say for individual style. I remember back when I was a lot thinner than I am now, where I was wearing nice clothes. I still had my belly pooch which would stick out, and it looked kinda odd, like something was wrong with me, like I had a growth down there or something, but I felt pretty and people looked at me and complimented me on how i dressed.  I can’t wait to fit into nice clothes again.  I even saved them, in boxes in the closet. Hopefully I’ll be able to wear them in the next months.

The coolest thing is going on in May of this year. My high school is having this huge Centennial celebration and there are going to be so many people showing up

Well, for lunch today I had something very special. I had 1/4 of a chicken, pesto, tomato, panini, and 1/2 cup of chicken and wild rice soup.

IT

WAS

DELICIOUS!!!

Everything in the meal followed my ’soft foods’ plan. I was worried about the panini bread being too tough, but with the pesto sauce, it softened it up a good bit so it was fine to eat. I ate very slowly, picking it apart with my fingers and placing each little piece in my mouth.

Tonight is date night.. I’m excited. I can actually eat dinner with my hubby.

STAGE 4 (weeks 4 to 6)

Soft Foods:

BREADS/STARCHES: Soft cooked pasta, rice, toasted breads, melba toast and crackers

VEGETABLES: Soft cooked vegetables  (NO CORN/PEAS  OR VEGGIES WITH HULLS)

FRUITS: Soft, unsweetened, canned or fresh soft fruits without skin or seeds (AVOID CITRUS FRUITS)

MEAT/PROTEIN/PROTEIN SUBSTITUTE: Fish, poultry, low-fat/low sugar creamy peanut butter, chopped tofu. low-fat/low sugar yogurt with fruits

Yay, today is the day that I can eat soft foods. No more pureed nastiness! I was getting so sick of eating everything all soupy. I want to bite down into something. So, I brought some baby food. Spaghetti and meat sauce. hehe. I had that the other day. I have to add a lot of salt, but it’s pretty yummy all the same.

I am definitely hungry. I also have to remember that I still need to drink my protein shakes to make sure I get all my protein in. I’m scared of cold cuts. Chicken might work, but I’d have to make sure that it wasn’t dry or stringy. I did chicken salad the other day and even though it was almost a liquidy mess, the stringyness was still there and my tum tum didn’t do to well with that.

So, I took it easy last night. I hardly ate anything and ended up going to bed at about 9pm. It was nice, but Jessie kept waking up every hour with some kind of problem. I feel bad when I get mad at her for that, but she’s waking up and crying for no reason. She just wants me to take her into the bed with me and hold her. I ended up doing that at about 3am, but she wouldn’t even fall asleep then. I think she just wasn’t tired. After about an hour though she was knocked out. I was able to put her back in her crib.

I feel pretty good today. I haven’t eaten as much protein as I should have but that’s mainly because the only thing I have to mix my Unjury with here at work is water. And that stuff tastes like crap when it’s mixed with water.  At home I have ice and my blender and some instant coffee that I throw into it.  For lunch today I had some chicken noodle soup. It went down really well. I ate a whole 6 ounce cup of it, but it was mostly broth. I guess eating soup is like eating and drinking at the same time, which is something the clinic really doesn’t recommend. Mainly because it’s an easy way to cheat. If you eat something, and then wash it down, you’re prolonging the ‘oh my god i’m so full I could yack’ feeling. I definitely know that feeling and I’m learning to listen to it. The first time it talks to me.

I think I realized what made me ill the other night. It was the cheese I was eating, as well as the turkey cold cuts. It was all mashed up and pureed, but something about both of them really hit me wrong. Lesson learned. I’ve been drinking a lot of water today. I brought some cottage cheese with me to work, which turns out to be a nice snack. I wish I could eat crackers though. I found out yesterday at lunch that those don’t agree with me either. I puked those up.

I’ve also found that really cold beverages hurt my tummy a little bit. I’ve been doing well with room temperature water and Crystal Lite mix.

It’s been a few days since I’ve written, so I’ll catch you up on what’s been going on.

I’ve been doing pretty well with the weight loss. Dr. Sonnanstine elevated me to Phase 4 of the Post-Op diet, which is pureed foods. I stay on that for a week, then move onto soft foods. That means pretty much anything I want as long as it’s soft and unabrasive to my tender little tiny stomach pouch.  I even pureed some roast and potatos and carrots that Charlie cooked up for me and put it on some grits. It tasted wonderful. 

Last night and this morning, I had my first experience with some difficult food. Last night, at around 10pm, I ate about 3 ounces of turkey with some soft Laughing Cow cheese. It tasted great, but at about 5am this morning, I woke up with this painful lump in my chest and abdomen. When i pressed on my belly it would hurt. I thought it was gas but it was just constant, not intermittent like normal gas pain is. I thought that getting up and walking around would get rid of it, but I found that the more I walked around, the more it hurt.  Calling off work wasn’t an option so I got in the shower and did a little stretching. I remember when I used to do yoga, all of the twisting poses really helped with digestion and moving waste through your system. I did some side twists and could definitely feel something lodged in there.  I was able to drink water without a problem so that indicated that I did not have a stricture, something I’ve heard many stories about.

A stricture is there the opening from the stomach, into the large intestine, becomes swolen to the point of closure sometimes. Some people can’t keep anything down, even water, without puking it back up. I, luckily, was able to keep water down, but it seemed that whenever I took a sip, it would cause me back pain, right in the middle of my shoulder blades.

So, I got to work this morning okay and continued to drink water, slowly, to see if whatever was in there would eventually disslodge itself. No joy. After about two hours, and after reading about 20 different stories about having to have outpatient surgery to fix a stricture, I called the clinic and spoke to Steve, the nurse.  I explained to him the events over the morning and previous evning and he immediately picked up on the turkey part. He said that what I have it probably a little bit of a blockage. He said that cold cuts give a lot of people problems after they have surgery. I think my problem was the turkey and the fact that it probably was a little too dry. Lesson learned.  Steve told me to drink liquids and also test myself. I heated up some really runny oatmeal and that seems to be going down fine. This is a good sign.

I’m still rather sleepy and trying hard to get all my protein in. Exercising needs to start like, yesterday, because until I’m 30 days out, the blood clots can show themselves..

peace, love, and an altogether biiiiig hug!

3/4 cup 1% milk
1 scoop chocolate Unjury
1 tablespoon instant coffee
1/2 cup ice

Blend until smooth. DEEEEEELISH!!

I’ve been getting pretty bored with the options I have so today, I created new options.

First, I went to the store and bought some 1% milk. This alone doubled the tastey palet of goodness that I already had because I had been making all of my shakes with water. Milk will make the taste and texture different, which will be nice, but I expect that alone to get boring in a matter of days.

I tried to find sugar free Tang at Wal-Mart, and they don’t even carry it. I was dissappointed. Creamy, fruity things are delicious and I thought I was going to be without until I got brave and replaced the TANG with some of my fruit punch Crystal Light. I didn’t think it would work with milk and the vanilla Unjury but boy was I wrong. that was the tastiest little dessert treat I’ve had in a while, even before the surgery. I’m going to figure out how to whip some of that into some kind of jello and top it with some sugar free whipped topping.

My booboos are gettin better I think. I have some that look better than the others, but the one where the drainage bag went in, and the incision in my belly button are having a rough time of it. No infection, they just aren’t healing like the others. I’ll have the doc check them on Tuesday.

I have to say that having the milk here has made me a little happier. I’m drinking a nice cold glass of it now, and it’s very comforting. Before surgery, I would pour at least 16 ounces of 2% in a big cup and polish off about 8 or 9 Oreos with it. Those days are gone, but I’m beginning to think the comfort came from the milk rather than the cookies. Yes, what I nice treat.

I’ve also made some mega protein jello snacks that are setting in the refrigerator. Each one packs about 17 grams of protein.

I do believe I’m getting the hang of this. I’m going to post another weight update tomorrow. The last time I weighed myself, I had gone back the next day, and actually gained .4 pounds. I laughed. I have to keep my protein up if I’m going to lose weight, elst my body thinks it’s starving and stores what’s left forever.

I’m wondering if I’ll ever get to take a big bite out of anything ever again.

I’m really looking for things to eat right but just realized that I’m still on stage 3 of my post-op diet, which means, I just can’t eat what I’m not supposed to eat. Easy enough! I think I’m going to go to the bookstore to find some recipe books. There has to be some kind of collection of recipes for meals that are good for puree’ing. I just found one that would put to use the less-used vanilla flavor of my Unjury protein powder. Mix it with some sugar-free Tang and you have a dreamsicle. That sounds pretty nice.

Liquid diet until the 14th. That’s when I’m upgraded to the pureed diet. Fun times. I get to eat like a geriatric patient. I can finally eat that pork roast and potatoes, all pureed up, into a soup. It just isn’t the same I don’t think.

There was a reason I never talked about how great it was not feeling hungry. For the past 5 days, I’ve been having a pretty easy time dealing with seeing, smelling, and thinking about all the foods that I used to eat. Big gulping bites of savory or sweet, in whatever form it may be, didn’t really seem to be a challenge.

Well, as I correctly assumed, that was a honeymoon experience, and it is now over.

My husband baked a pork roast today, and I wanted nothing more than to rip a piece of that succulent meat away from it and bite down and taste the salty, smokey, juicy flavor of it.

Then I remembered that I would die if I did. I have physical restrictions now that give me a stronger will-power. The choice to ‘break the diet’ isn’t there for me anymore. So, is will-power even a factor? Probably not. But the fact is, is if I was on some regular diet, and had an encounter with a beautiful pork roast like that, the pork roast would be no more.

I am now realizing that I have a very difficult road ahead of me. And this surgery is now showing me the tool that it is.