The Blog

I miss my cute little blog. It’s been a while and there is so much to share. I’m actually down a few pounds. I saw the nutritionist on Thursday and she said I’m doing great. I started working out in the gym where I work. I’ve been twice, walking for about 25 minutes at a 5% incline at 2.5 miles per hour. I could do more, but the issue is going back to the office looking like hell. I think I’m going to try going after work, but I’m loving the free time I’m getting after work while Charlie gets the kids.

I’m still trying to figure out different ways to get all my protein in. I ran out of my chocolate UNJury, like a big dope, so I tried to eat some of the vanilla and the chicken flavor. I was able to get down one of each, but that was it. Both of those make me want to vomit.  I have some sample packs of the chocolate that my nutritionist gave me, but they’re at work. At least I’ll have something for when I’m there tomorrow.

I’m trying to get some ideas about alternative protein sources. I’m having such a hard time with meat right now, it kinda makes me think that I should just find something else. I like tofu a lot and I know there are a ton of great recipes and different ways you can prepare tofu. I just have to figure out if I can handle eating it.

A friend of mine living in Columbus, OH is a vegetarian. Her and someone else I know are vegetarians because they don’t like meat, not because they’re on some endeavour to save the world from hunters and furcatchers.  I’m like them now, the taste and texture of meat make me ill. My stomach can’t handle any kind of meat unless it’s already ground up. Chili works well, and in fact, I can overeat chili. I can eat a whole cup of chili and feel no discomfort at all. I am all to aware of that when I get that for lunch. I purposely leave about 1/4 of it in the bowl and trash it so I won’t eat it.  

I had a family event this past Saturday and I was able to catch up with my sister-in-law’s husband who had RNY about two years ago. He’s dropped so much weight. He looks and feels like a different person. He’s able to do things he never would have dreamed of like hiking the Grand Canyon. Talking to him was inspiring to say the least. I realized, after speaking to him, that I hadn’t really set any goals for what I wanted to do after I lost my weight.  I have a reunion in May, which I know is going to be great. I’ll celebrate that for sure. I remember having a great experience in high school, but there were some times where my weight really caused me some embarassment and hurt feelings.  Old stuff, but it’s still something I think about. And going back there looking the way I will is going to be a good thing.

I get to spend the next few months being excited about the future years of my life, and I’m so happy about that. I really feel that this surgery was a great decision. I had no problems with the surgery and I’m progressing well. I have so much to look forward to.

ugh.. i’m so frustrated… the scale is back up two pounds… this is frustrating.

On another note, and a more serious one. For the past few days I’ve been getting dizzy and nauseus in the morning. Usually when I get up from a laying or sitting position.

Went to the doctor, they found nothing wrong, visually. My blood pressure was okay and my heart rate was fine.

So they took some blood and will check a bunch of stuff.

Waiting for that phone call.

UPDATE 2.22.09 - Dr found nothing remarkable about my bloodwork, and the dizziness hasn’t happened again since the day I went to the doctor. They prescribed me some motion sickness pills, which worked for the morning I went to the doctor. Not sure what’s going on there, but if it happens again, I’m going straight for the pills. I spoke with Steve, the nurse at the clinic’s office and he said that the dizziness is something that is experienced by many WLS patients. He said that it’s the body getting used to it’s new size. I guess that makes sense. Say you were running around a track with 40 gallon water bottles strapped to you, then all of a sudden they’re gone. I can imagine it would take me a minute to get my balance straightened out. The human body is an amazing thing. God created us in such a magnificent way.

Well, I stayed at 267. All day.

This could be the end of my stall. 

I will know tomorrow morning.

Well, yesterday, I stepped on the scale and it had finally moved. It’s done this before and then moved back up, so I didn’t log it or really pay any attention to it.

Until..

I stepped on it again this morning, and it had moved some more!

Could it be? Could it be that I’m losing again? Yay!

I thought I had broken my stall as of yesterday, but nope, I was back to the same weight I have been since exactly one month after my surgery. 272 pounds and holding.

People are telling me to stop checking the scale everyday, even telling me to only weight myself every month. But this is all still so new to me, the scale is like a new toy. When I look at it, during the first month anyway, I couldn’t believe how fast it was dropping. Now, it just pisses me off and I kick the stupid thing.

I need to get in more protein and I need to get in more water and I need to exercise more. I need to stop making excuses for not doing it.

I will become a machine.

I’m going to create a dance called the protein shake. 

I think it’s something I need to start celebrating. Because if I don’t, I’m going to drive myself batshit crazy.

I hate protein shakes, but as I hate them more, I like them more. I think it’s a factor of having to like them. 

I am one of those people who easily conform to thinks not-so-pleasant, if the circumstance requires it for survival, which in this case, it does.

I can’t stomach chicken. It makes me sick. I tried lobster, and it made me completely ill. But I think that was because it had mayonnaise it it. Not low fat. 

I’m going to try to eat more fish. My wonderful husband bought a lot of fish for me today at the grocery store.  Some crab meat and some cocktail sauce, too.

I am now, going to do the Protein Shake.

Unjury

Chicken

Fish

Eggs

Cheese

I feel like I’m on Atkins except I don’t get the yummy bacon part.

I’m going to go down a shake right now. FUNTIMES!!

if i ate more protein, i’d lose more weight.

if i drank more water, i’d lose more weight.

if i exercised more, i’d lose more weight.

am i still my own worst enemy?

I’ve stalled for 4 days at 272. I hit 270 one morning but I didn’t chart it because I thought it was a fluke. I was on a pound a day losing streak but now I’ve fallen behind. I’m kinda bummed out it. I’ve been trying to get  more protein in and of course my water intake is not what it should be. There should be no surprise that I’m not losing the max since I’m not getting those two very very important things into my body. I’m joining a gym today that has a month to month contract. They have yoga classes every other day which I can squeeze in at lunch time. My office is really flexible when it comes to lunch times, thank goodness.

that’s what I’ve lost. 32 pounds, exactly 32 days after surgery. My doctor says I’m right on target. I’m able to eat regular food now, and am pleased as punch that I’m able to handle most everything I eat. I still have a problem with eggs though…