The Blog

This week has been one of happiness, pride, and downright enjoyment. I’ve done some things that make me proud and I’ve done some things that impress others. My weight is still going down. I’m officially in the 250’s now. My first goal is to get down to 245. That’s 13 more pounds to go. Hopefully I’ll be there by the end of next week. And if not, then it’ll just take longer. I’m really not going to stress about how much weight I’m losing. I was doing that for a while, comparing myself to other people who’ve had the same surgery around the same time I did. Some have lost more, and some have lost less. It really is a guessing game as to how each person is going to experience this.

I went to the gym at around 2:30pm today. I got on the recumbent bike at first, but then that started hurting my ass after about 6 minutes. I got off that and got on the treadmill. I punched in my weight and age and upped the incline to 3 and the speed to 2.5mph. I was off. I was listening to my ipod with Lady GaGa, Britney Spears, and Lily Allen all singing to me. I got pumped and burned almost 200 calories in 22 or 23 minutes. It felt great. I had time to take a nice shower afterwards, got dressed, and went back to work. I felt like one of those cool people who can take a work break and go have a great workout, and then just come back from work. I get a little self concious about how I look afterwards though. I get really really red in the face when I workout, and it stays like that for a good hour after I’m done working out. It takes me a while to cool down, definitetly. But, I’ve decided not to give a crap about that, because I just busted my ass at the gym. I might be red, but I’ve exercised and I feel great.

I got three books today from Amazon. Two cookbooks and the ever so recommended Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies. One cookbook is for low fat high protein meals for after weight loss surgery and the other one is strictly a tofu cookbook. I’ve really started liking adding tofu to my meals. I can handle it better than any other kind of meat and it’s so low in calories and breaks down so well that I can eat a nice portion of it, enough to feel satisfied, without that ’stuck’ feeling interrupting me and causing me to yack. I’m really loving all these changes I’m going through and I look forward to all the new ones I have yet to go through.

i started a new term in school on the 1st of March. I have to pass a CIW Site Designer test and also a Java programming test. I’ve already started studying for the CIW test and I’m finding the information rather interesting. It covers web design, how to do it, and how to do it effectively to get your desired point across. I can’t wait to learn more about it. Java programming has me a little intimidated,  but I’m not worried too much about it. Spend enough time studying and I will pass it. If I have the same problems that I had last term, then Java might be the end of me.

I’ve been really tired today. Going to go to sleep now.. Another good day tomorrow..

I got a call from the clinic both Saturday and Sunday. They needed to reschedule my surgeon follow up. Dr. Tom is taking an indefinite leave of absence. Why? who knows.. It ain’t my business. So, I’m going to be seeing another surgeon regarding my follow up stuff. It’ll be a short meeting. Mainly they’ll just ask how I’ve been feeling, how my wounds are healing, and if I had any concerns or question. Good, great, and nope.

I just realized that I’ve been sitting and whining the past few days that I’ve only lost 2 pounds this month. This, is a crock if shit. I just checked my records and I have actually dropped 10 pounds this month. On my February 2nd post, I was at 272. I can subtract, so my claim to have only dropped 2 pounds is me fixating myself on something negative. Even to the point of fixating on a negative that didn’t really exist.

I’ve been having the crappiest time with a whole bunch of stuff recently. School, work, home, weight loss. You name it, it’s got me down.

I’ve been studying for the last month for this Network+ CompTIA exam. I finally passed it yesterday. I failed it on Friday morning. My term ended Saturday so I had to reschedule it for Saturday morning and bust my ass and ask some favors to get the results posted to my AAP. I passed the test with the exact score that is required to pass the test. And this was on the third try. I have no idea what made me think that I could work an experienced based degree program, on no experience. I have two CIW, another CompTIA, and a Sun Java test to pass yet. This is going to be a bitch. I have to LEARN all that crap and complete the cert tests on them. 

My weight loss has been practically shit since the 31st of January. I’ve lost 2 pounds in the whole month of February. This is one of many stalls but I can’t seem to break it. I’m going to start busting my ass at the gym during lunch and at home when I get back from work. I need to build muscle and just bust my ass. My body responds well to the busting of my ass exercises that I do. Walking on the treadmill isn’t going to do it enough for me I’ve realized. I used to love busting my ass working out after work every day. You go and get into a relationship and have kids and all the time for that stuff seems to dissappear. It doesn’t really, it apparently just wasn’t a big enough priority in my life for me to keep it in my schedule.

Tangent:  I hate bitchy people. I especially hate hypocrits who complain that someone is doing something, then they go on and do the exact same thing. Then, when you call them on it, you’re the bigole bitch. There is no reasoning or getting along with people like that. I also hate people who think that two people ‘having fun’ is one person having fun and the other person getting annoyed or hurt. I hate being annoyed. It turns me into a huge bitch. I hate people who do nothing but bitch about things that they just need to rise above. Racism, politics, economy. If you’re not doing something active to improve the situation, then shut up about it already. I also hate people who look down on me because I don’t think every conversation about politics is fun and exciting and important to get all emotionally invested in. People think this country is going socialist, and you know what, I think they have a point. But I’m tired of sitting and talking about it over and over again. I’m going to do what I need to do to be aware of the situation, do what I can to change it, then if I feel it’s necessary, vote for the people to make it right. If the majority of people vote for someone, then that’s the majority speaking. Regardless of who i vote for, I live in a country where the people decide who is in office and who is the president. I didn’t vote for Obama, but I’m not going to sit and insult everyone else who did. Majority rules and right now, what’s done is done. That’s how our great country was founded and unless I want to cry a river and run to Canada, then I need to deal with it.  The biggest question I have though, is exactly what can we do if the majority is blindingly letting this country fall under Socialist rule? Other than actively voting for who i think would make things right, what can I do? This is a question that soooo many people have, yet we have no answer. We can write to our state and local representatives, and most of the time, they listen to what their public has to say. But what if I see a runaway train coming, but no one else seems to notice? Can I really make a difference? Can I really do something to change the course of events. I’m scared for our country. No Socialist society has ever survived. Middle class is eliminated and we’re all waiting in line for bread and Soylent Green, dammit.

Socialism sucks ass. Socialism allows government dictate to me which car I want, where I can live, what food I can buy, what school my kids go to, my education, my healthcare, the condition of my street, taking care of my parents, where I can live, where I can go, who I can stand up against, who empowers me, who gets an asskicking, where I buy my gas, the temperature of my furnace, what I see on the Internet, where I work, how much I’m paid, the value of my degree, and the overall value of my life and the hard work I’ve put into it.  Socialism will have me buying the same car that “poor guy who couldn’t afford a car last year” gets to buy. I don’t want that shit. If I can afford a $400 a month car payment, then give me my fucking nice car!  My family isn’t poor, we’re far from it. But there are poor families who are wanting to be treated as if they aren’t. I just don’t get that.  Rise above people, don’t bring others down. And don’t be a bitch about it when you can’t do it for yourself.